The Lighter Side of Transformation

with Lisa Wessan, LICSW

From Borderline to Balance: Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (DBT-PTSD)

Abstract: This article offers a perspective on the impact of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) in treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and trauma. The author shares valuable insights on renaming BPD to “Intense Trauma Syndrome” for reduced stigma and increased therapeutic support. The post effectively conveys the author’s experience with DBT and the positive outcomes observed with clients. The inclusion of Solution Focused Therapy and reframing cognitive beliefs adds depth to the content, enhancing its value. Overall, it provides a comprehensive view of the transformative nature of DBT in addressing trauma-related challenges.

When I first became interested in the Dialectical Behavior Therapy methods and curriculum (DBT), one of my mentors said, “Lisa, I strongly advise you NOT to get involved with this work. If you offer DBT Skills, you will attract the WORST clients!  They will all be severely agitating with Borderline, Bipolar or severe mood disorders, it will be a nightmare for you!”

I heard what she said, and I did respect her opinion, but there was something so powerfully intriguing about the evidence-based science behind DBT, and the fact that so many people were getting well from it – people who had been considered “treatment resistant” prior to their DBT exposure.

I do like a challenge, however, and I was not afraid of this high risk population. Something inside me told me to continue…against the advice of this mentor, and other practitioners I knew.

It is now twelve years since my first DBT training, and I’m still excited to be sharing the DBT curriculum with adults (21+) in my virtual Zoom classroom.  I have had the privilege of witnessing hundreds of my DBT clients, in both individual and group sessions, go through this cognitive re-structuring process, shed their false beliefs, deconstruct their traumas, grieve and move on to have healthy, happy, contented lives.

In the process, I have learned that approximately 70% of my clients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) suffer from severe co-occurring post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD),  related to traumas that occurred during childhood. These traumas were not processed or expressed at the time,  and they caused a corruption of the client’s personality, mental and social skills.

These unresolved traumas, when treated, often bring upon a rebirth process, and the client is no longer exhibiting the Borderline symptoms.  Therefore, I humbly submit that it would serve everyone if BPD could be renamed Intense Trauma Syndrome (ITS).

Here is why:

  1. The term Borderline is heavily stigmatized in my guild.  “Borderline” sounds as if someone is on the edge of a cliff about to jump, perhaps on the verge of…suicide? Murder? Something worse?  Witness my mentor’s advice above, plus, each week I receive calls from clients who tell me “No one will work with me because I am Borderline.”  This is frustrating and heartbreaking to me.  Why is this heavily traumatized group eschewed because of their condition? Where should they go?  How will they get well? If BPD were to be re-labeled as Intense Trauma Syndrome, I think they would be helped by more therapists!  But this requires more than a branding campaign…
  2. Borderline clients often exhibit highly dissociative symptomatology, chronic suicidality, and ongoing non-suicidal self-injury.  This is also a big turn-off to my guild.  Many of my colleagues will NOT work with suicidal clients.  Why?  Too much liability, too many collateral calls, too much danger. Moreover,  my clients feel as if they are tacitly shamed by the mental health profession for being Borderline.   Yet I have found that this population, when they are truly sick and tired of being sick and tired, pick up these DBT Skills and other therapeutic interventions, and start their healing process.  They will always agree to a Safety Plan and stick with it. They learn, grow, and become healthier and successful members of society.   They do recover!
  3. When I tell my Borderline clients they have Intense Trauma Syndrome, and request that they stop describing themselves as Borderline, they start to feel so much better about their emotional challenges.  Many Borderline clients have described severe shame and self-hate due to their diagnosis. They feel hopeless and bereft of a cure. Receiving the Borderline diagnosis can make them feel worse!
    ⭐Here’s the H.O.P.E.  for Borderline clients,  Hold On, Pain Ends.⭐

Solution Focused Therapy

My DBT Skills groups cover the entire curriculum in one year, divided into three 14-week trimesters. This training includes the strengthening of the commitment to overall wellness and psychoeducation, DBT skills training, skills-assisted exposure, with radical acceptance of the past trauma and its effects on their lives.

Four leaf DBT

Finally, you explore the practice of self-compassion – as you learn to Fail Forward – and make efforts to build a life worth living. When a client has graduated from their Intense Trauma Syndrome to the more normative anxiety, career, dating, relationship challenges they are on their way to be fulfilled and satisfied with their lives.

The Intense Trauma Syndrome causes people to become quite polarized in their thinking. They often see the world in black and white, all or nothing, right or wrong, good or evil terms.  There is not much wiggle room for the vast spectrum of imperfection that exists in all of us!  One of the earliest cognitive shifts we work on is the ability to hold OPPOSITE VIEWS in their minds without having a meltdown.

Common Dialectical Beliefs

I teach that it is perfectly all right to love someone, but also to hate them at times. It is fine to be in a room of friends or family, and yet feel very lonely.  It is not a serious problem to want to go out, and want to stay home in the same breath. It is possible to feel strong and vulnerable. 

Prior to learning DBT skills, these opposing thoughts would cause a lot of stress for them, and cause them to feel as if they were having a meltdown.  To help them decompress from their polarized inner self-hating dialogue, I have learned to reduce their stress by saying, “You can feel dual emotions, you are ok and safe with these conflicting thoughts…In fact, you are not having a breakdown, you are having a breakthrough!”  This often helps them to reframe the intensity of their emotions into a more helpful and practical view.

Borderline1

What they need to learn is to go within and ask, “What do I need now?”  or “How can I make this better?”  Instead of saying “What’s wrong with me? Why am I like this?   I hate this!  I feel crazy! I can’t take it, I want to die!” In individual therapy, we can also explore their different Parts (with Internal Family Systems Therapy/IFS)  and gain understanding of their Exiled parts (Anderson, F.,  Sweeney, M. Schwartz, R.  2017)

I teach my clients to stop asking WHY questions, but to ask HOW questions instead.  When we ask WHY, “Why am I like this?  Why don’t I enjoy parties?  Why am I so annoying to people? Why is this person ignoring me?  Why do people dislike me? “Why am I still single?” they are on a slippery slope into anxiety and depression and possible self-harm.

When they learn to ask HOW questions, they start to change, “How can I make this better?”  “How can I be useful?”  “How can I learn to stay calm when I am triggered?”  The HOW questions lead to discovery, growth, healing and empowerment.

In Conclusion

Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a powerful healing modality.  From my experience, those clients suffering with BPD are particularly helped by this cognitive restructuring process, since typical pharmacological and generic talk therapy interventions are not always helpful.  From my perspective, DBT serves as a newly installed behavioral software program. It is slowly downloaded into their minds through the completion of hundreds of handouts, worksheets, discussions, weekly practice and role playing.  In sum, the DBT behavioral software in their minds replaces their previously corrupted and faulty software that was hurting them.
Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2024. All rights reserved.

Leave a comment »

How Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills help you learn to manage and cope better with difficult emotions, as “Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm” – S. A. Jefferson-Wright.

I’m excited to announce that we are hastening slowly to transform the world from the inner to outer, one DBT student at a time…

Lisa Wessan, LICSW, DBT Skills Trainer

Up next: we will be exploring “Emotion Regulation and Mindfulness Skills” from January 23 – April 23, 2024 in the Zoom Classroom.  (All registration forms, intake sessions and tuition fees must be completed by January 19, 2024).

Four leaf DBT

The Emotion Regulation module has four sections:

  • Understanding and Naming Emotions
  • Changing Emotional Responses
  • Reducing Vulnerability to “Emotion Mind”
  • Managing Extremely Difficult Emotions
DBT Mindfulness

The Mindfulness material includes:

  • Learning to be a good observer
  • Being non-judgmental
  • Staying in the present
  • Practicing being effective
  • Accessing “Wise Mind” (aka higher self, higher consciousness)
  • Understanding Reality Acceptance and detaching from negative or critical thoughts.

As DBT founder Dr. Marsha Linehan says, “It is difficult to manage your emotions when you do not understand how emotions work. Knowledge is power.”

During this 14-week program:

  • You learn to cope better with social anxiety issues, negative thinking and stop falling into the Blame Game.
  • You learn to abstain from the Compare and Despair syndrome.
  • You practice “Face it, trace it and erase it” as you work the DBT Skills and grow stronger and wiser with effective emotional regulation and self-expression.
  • You learn to access “Wise Mind” and regain your center, remain calm.  You learn to take a stand for your inner peace, and become bulletproof to bullies, others’ judgments and negative, invalidating remarks.
  • You learn to practice Radical Acceptance, as needed, and problem solve when possible. You are no longer living with victim consciousness.

If this DBT Skills training group sounds good to you, please get in touch with me to start your enrollment process. Just complete the Contact Form on my web site to begin (not to worry, this is a No-Spam Zone! Your email will not be added to any mailing lists unless you request it).

🌀 For exact dates, fees, insurance info, FAQs, DBT Flyer, videos and more details, please visit https://www.lisawessan.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy

Onward and Upward✨

Lisa Wessan

Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2024. All rights reserved.

Leave a comment »

UP NEXT: Fall-Winter Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Group (DBT)

Up Next: Mindfulness & Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills

During the Mindfulness module, you will learn how to become a more compassionate observer, be less judgmental, learn to stay focused and in the present moment, practice using the Emotion Wheel to identify all of your feelings and detach from the negative ones as needed, plus more.

In the Interpersonal Skills module, you will be exploring ways you can set healthier boundaries, ask for what you want, decline and say “NO” effectively, examine validating and invalidating relationships, and more.

🌀CURRENT DBT FLYER: Mindfulness & Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills.

FAST FACTS:
🌀 When: 14-week trimester, Tuesday evenings, 7:30 – 9:00 PM EST; September 19 – December 19, 2023
🌀 Where: On Zoom
🌀 Fees: Continuing students pay $1050; new students pay $1285 (includes one individual Intake Session).

For details and FAQ please visit www.lisawessan.com

Onward and Upward🌀

Lisa Wessan

PS – All registration forms, fees and intake sessions must be completed by 9/15/23. If this DBT work speaks to you, contact me very soon.

Leave a comment »

Embracing “Progress not Perfection”

Yesterday I attended a new yoga class at my gym, titled “Breathe, Feel and Flow,” not particularly daunting. Rumor had it that Ravi is a challenging teacher. I found myself feeling excited and curious to see how this class would go. My fear factor was low, because over the years I have become adept at yoga “Modifications.”

For those who are not familiar with yoga practice, a Modification is doing your Plan B for a posture that you can’t do. Plan B can be derivative of the ideal posture, or something completely different. As a recovering perfectionist, many years ago Plan B would feel uncomfortable and even shameful, as my inner self talk would say “Why can’t I do this? What’s wrong with me?” or “If only I weren’t so big, I hate my body!” or “What’s the use, why bother? FORGET YOGA!”

During Ravi’s class, he introduced several different Binds (complicated twists), and then, for a grand finale, a Bird of Paradise! Instead of feeling defeated and ashamed, I started laughing! First, I was grateful I could do at least 80% of the postures. Second, I was delighted to first see that my mindset was so clear – I was not upset to be pushed to this hard edge. Instead I felt inspired! Now I have a new goal. The Bird of Paradise is so beautiful, even sculptural (see photo below). I was elated to think that someday I will gain the mastery to do this position too. I laughed at the absurdity of me thinking I could learn that position and do it the same day. This will probably take months or years of practice.

As Neale Donald Walsch has taught me, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Yes, I love being able to embrace being out of my comfort zone and feeling exhilarated vs. sad or ashamed. That is true personal growth. This healthier mindset is also the result of practicing years of dialectical thinking, self-compassion and radical acceptance.

Dialectical thinking upgrade: I can be skillful and a beginner at the same time. I can be excited and also humbled by yoga. I can be super flexible and able to do so much, yet I cannot do it all. Progress not Perfection!

Self-Compassion: I’m doing the best I can. Each day, with practice, I can improve and get better. Look how far you’ve come! Plan B is good enough. I am content with being a good enough yoga student!

Radical Acceptance: My current anatomy and musculature is what it is. I cannot force muscles and bones to move differently. I can’t change Ravi’s class outline, it is what it is. I will embrace the whole class and enjoy the postures that I can do, and make good modifications for those I cannot do.

BONUS! After the class, I was told by several yoga students that my laughter made them feel more accepting of their inability to do these harder positions and just create more meaningful modifications during that time. My laughter also helped them diffuse their discomfort or shame in not being able to do the Bird of Paradise…As it happens, I am a Certified Laughter Yoga instructor, so it was deeply validating and uplifting for me to share that practice during this yoga class. Learning to embrace the paradoxes and absurdities of your life – rather than be a victim of them — can be so relaxing and freeing.

This is part of my clinical practice as well, although I don’t formally set up therapeutic laughter sessions for individual work, it just happens organically in the moment. (Laughter Therapy programs and groups are planned ahead and are available upon request.)

For this week, see how you can participate in life by going out of your comfort zone in some way. Yes, living on that razor’s edge between fear and excitement is where the thrills of life will delight and amaze you, and give you a life worth living!

Leave a comment »

Avocado Chocolate Mousse

Eating dessert is one of the pleasures of life, yet I don’t want to hurt my body by eating inflammatory foods that weaken and compromise my precious instrument…so finding desserts that contain super nutrients is definitely part of my JOYFUL experience.

I did make this recipe over the past weekend, and it’s wonderful. 

Modifications: I used almond milk (instead of oat milk), Stevia instead of Agave, skipped the salt, and I mashed it in a bowl. Came out superb! (I also made it a second time using a hand-held blender, and that works really well too, plus easy clean up.)

Have fun and enjoy this delicious healthy treat💕

Onward and Upward,

Lisa

Source: http://www.TheWeek.com 05 MAY 2023

Leave a comment »

UP NEXT: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills training (DBT) on Mindfulness & Distress Tolerance, May – August 2023 on Zoom

Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amidst the storm…

Hi, 

Thank you for your continued interest in my work. I know I haven’t posted frequently enough here – but that will change soon!

For today, I’m excited to be teaching the next 14-week semester of Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills (DBT).  This semester we will cover Mindfulness & Distress Tolerance Skills.

🌀 Click here for the current  DBT FLYER. 

With the Distress Tolerance curriculum, your will learn valuable skills and interventions to help yourself reduce your intense stress and harsh feelings in the moment – to lower the volume on your anticipatory anxiety and catastrophic thinking. These DBT skills significantly help to reduce the escalation of your inflammatory emotions, and reduce the painful, polarized and perfectionist thinking that often cause your meltdowns. You will learn to find your peaceful “Middle Path” here. 

There are many powerful skills included in this semester’s work. It is the hope of this process that you will put together your own personal Distress Tolerance tool kit with the techniques that work the best for you.

Unfortunately, there is no “one size fits all” with these various techniques, so you do need to be a good scientist in the laboratory of your life and try them all out.  You will eventually find the ones that you love, and that will work quickly and effectively for you. 

Yes, I am looking forward to continuing this exciting journey towards wholeness with this next group.  I am also deeply honored to be sharing this transformative and useful educational process with you.

If this is not for you, but you have someone in mind for this next DBT Group, please have them contact me soon at my web site – currently www.MirthMaven.com – and fill out the Contact Form which helps them briefly tell me the best times to reach them (by phone) and guides them to check out their insurance (for the Out of Network benefit).  Otherwise this course is private pay, $980 for continuing students, $1215 for new students (includes one Intake session.)  

Onward and Upward✨

Lisa Wessan

“If you can recognize and accept your pain
without running away from it,
you will discover that although pain is there,
joy can also be there at the same time.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh, No Mud, No Lotus


Lisa Wessan, LICSW, CLYL, RM
Psychotherapist, Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Trainer (DBT)
Life Coach, Author, Speaker, Consultant

www.MirthMaven.com
🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀

1 Comment »

First Day Hikes for January 1, 2023

“In every walk with nature one receives far more than one seeks.”   ~ John Muir

Every year many of our state parks offer interesting guided walks. In Massachusetts, check out some of the hikes coming up this Sunday, January 1, 2023: https://www.mass.gov/doc/first-day-hikes-2023-statewide-flyer/download

May this serve you well in your journey towards wholeness and more inner peace💙

Leave a comment »

Free Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Group offered at the Cameron Senior Center, Westford, MA

I am delighted to be sharing this learning opportunity with you. May this program serve you well💙

As part of a six-month program, I am presenting Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Training in person at the Cameron Senior Center in Westford, MA.  

To learn more, go to page 6 of this newsletter: 

20220701Newsletter (westfordma.gov)

TO REGISTER:
Generously funded by a grant from the Greater Lowell Community Foundation, even though it is free to attend, you must pre-register by calling this number: 
(978) 692-5523

WHEN:
You can still attend the last two sessions:
1 – 3 PM on both August 12 and September 9, 2022.
You can attend these two workshops out of sequence and still gain value.

WHERE: 

Cameron Senior Center

20 Pleasant Street, Westford, MA 01886 (free parking)

Please do not contact me – I am not involved with registration!  They have a limited seat count, but plenty of room.  CALL NOW to reserve your spot!

Onward and Upward✨

Lisa Wessan

Leave a comment »

How Toxic Positivity Can Affect Your Health: Benefits of Complaining

Katie Couric spoke to a therapist about how she grieved Jay’s death, the dangers of toxic positivity and the benefits of negativity.
— Read on katiecouric.com/health/dangers-of-toxic-positivity-benefits-of-negativity/

🌀On the importance of doing a thorough Brain Dump to release and let go of your unexpressed grief, rage, disgust and other negative feelings. You cannot do a Spiritual or Cognitive By-Pass!

🌀Tears are the language of grief, and messy, hard crying jags are on the road to wellness.

🌀After reading this article, I will never again say “Everything happens for a reason” (out loud). Mea culpa, mea culpa…

Leave a comment »

LIFESPAN: Why We Age, and Why We Don’t Have To, by David Sinclair, PhD

Video Comment: (3 min) https://youtu.be/pGSuysVYo2Y

FUN FACT: “The number of centenarians – people in their 100s – is soaring worldwide as life spans continue to grow. In 1990, there were about 95,000 centenarians, but by 2015 there were 450,000, according to United Nations estimates.  By 2100, the U.N. projects, there will be 25 million.” – THE NEW YORK TIMES [quoted in THE WEEK, 14 MAY 2021, p. 16]

To that end, here is my review of LIFESPAN: WHY WE AGE, AND WHY WE DON’T HAVE TO, by David Sinclair, PhD (2019, Simon and Shuster: New York):

“Aging is a disease…and it is the Mother of all diseases, the one we all suffer from.” David Sinclair has evidence that there is a cure for aging. This is the basic hypothesis of this work.

The good news: fresh from the labs of Harvard, MIT and many other top research institutes around the world, Sinclair shares the very exciting and hopeful reports which indicate that our life expectancy is about to grow — the average person will live to 150 years soon, and possibly much longer…

The less good news: there is quite a bit of resistance and kickback to this longevity work which creates research funding issues. People have economic, philosophical, religious and ethical issues about longevity. Tampering with our genes, reversing cell damage, increasing strength and brain function results in an increased life expectancy.

The first part of this book is highly technical – Sinclair enthusiastically deconstructs his research and his peers’ work on gene editing and other relevant experiments.

Approximately the middle third of this book is about longevity techniques, treatments, prevention, and ways to stay healthy. We learn more about intermittent fasting, cold plunges, dietary suggestions, and possibly useful supplements (surprisingly few). There is no true “Magic Bullet” here. Yet.

The last third of the book explores the implications of increased longevity, and how it will affect our culture (and Social Security questions). Sinclair successfully resolves dozens of serious conflicts and considerations that have been thrown at him – and this part was both interesting and annoying at times. The worst case scenarios are all addressed with positive extrapolations for the mutual benefit of all humans – so there is no reason not to send billions of dollars to these researchers to unlock the secret code to aging successfully.

I hope one or more of our billionaires get word of this book and send over a few billion dollars to Sinclair and his buddies so they can finally nail down the aging disease and, dare I say it, CURE AGING!

It was frustrating to learn here how people’s ignorance and fears block the funding for this work! Basically, if Sinclair and his tribe can slow down and even reverse aging, they will also be eliminating cancer, heart disease, diabetes and more chronic diseases which all arise from the aging process.

I agree with Sinclair, this is NOT a moral or ethical issue. Increasing our longevity is part of our natural evolution and is a natural next step.

IN SUM, there is a solution to aging, and when we find it, it will help our species and benefit all of mankind in amazing ways.

On a personal note, I have been affirming that I am going to be a Super Centenarian (110+) for decades already…so now, I’m correcting that and plan to live to at least 150 years or longer. I always knew I was going to peak in my 60s…so I’m not even halfway through this awesome adventure in living!

Sinclair has inspired me to ramp up my longevity activities – the one thing I have resisted is the cold plunge (the Wim Hof method). I’ve been aware of Wim Hof’s works for years – so for a while I was going to a cryotherapy tank every week and taking the cold plunge inside of -260 F tank for 3 minutes. That was very useful and I loved it.  

In addition, my teacher Tim Ferriss has discussed and explored this work on his podcast to the point where I feel like a fool for not doing it regularly. (Ferriss takes ice baths regularly). My version of the Wim Hof method is to walk outside in cold weather wearing a light coat or vest and NOT bundling up all the way. (I wear a hat, scarf and gloves to avoid frostbite.)

So I’m excited about the possibility of living WELL at 150+ years of life, and to empower others to do the same. Yes, it’s the TEAM WORK that makes the DREAM WORK!

May we all age well together🌟

Leave a comment »