Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a solution focused emotional intelligence curriculum that works!
For ten years, I have continued to be honored and delighted to work with my amazing DBT adult students (age 21+). We meet on Tuesday nights, 7:30 – 9 PM EST in the Zoom classroom.
Over the span of a year, you develop tactical and practical skills in Emotion Regulation, Distress Tolerance, Interpersonal Effectiveness, and Mindfulness.
FEE: New students pay $1420 for the first 14-week semester, which includes an individual intake session. The continuing students pay $1120.
GROUP SIZE: Minimum 6, maximum 10.
TOPIC: This semester you will study and practice Interpersonal Effectiveness & Mindfulness Skills.
“The best part has been the content of the class. It is all so relevant! I like the way you have created an organized pathway through the workbook. DBT is truly not a “do it yourself” program. I very much appreciate the weekly page numbers for relevant handouts and worksheets. The structure you’ve created is one of the best parts of the class. I love that each class includes guided meditation.” M.M., New York, NY
“I was slightly surprised that the DBT group tends to have several participants who are a bit reticent. Group dynamics are always unpredictable. I thought the participants would be much more dramatic and self-aggrandizing. I expected them to be aggressively talkative or domineering. I also thought Lisa would have had to be very hands-on in managing that. Instead, the group is rather quiet, and everyone seems so delightfully ordinary. It’s been a relief, frankly. I’m not a weirdo for having intense emotions and struggling to manage them. I’m just an ordinary person and so are the other group members. I also didn’t expect so much humor. Your sense of humor has been quite welcome. It adds levity and makes the class feel less burdensome or “heavy.” C.S.E., Cambridge, MA
Up next: Virtual DBT Distress Tolerance and Mindfulness Skills, June 10 – September 9, 2025. Tuesdays, 7:30 – 9 PM EST. There are still a few spots open. To learn more, visit Summer DBT Group.
Yesterday I attended a new yoga class at my gym, titled “Breathe, Feel and Flow,” not particularly daunting. Rumor had it that Ravi is a challenging teacher. I found myself feeling excited and curious to see how this class would go. My fear factor was low, because over the years I have become adept at yoga “Modifications.”
For those who are not familiar with yoga practice, a Modification is doing your Plan B for a posture that you can’t do. Plan B can be derivative of the ideal posture, or something completely different. As a recovering perfectionist, many years ago Plan B would feel uncomfortable and even shameful, as my inner self talk would say “Why can’t I do this? What’s wrong with me?” or “If only I weren’t so big, I hate my body!” or “What’s the use, why bother? FORGET YOGA!”
During Ravi’s class, he introduced several different Binds (complicated twists), and then, for a grand finale, a Bird of Paradise! Instead of feeling defeated and ashamed, I started laughing! First, I was grateful I could do at least 80% of the postures. Second, I was delighted to first see that my mindset was so clear – I was not upset to be pushed to this hard edge. Instead I felt inspired! Now I have a new goal. The Bird of Paradise is so beautiful, even sculptural (see photo below). I was elated to think that someday I will gain the mastery to do this position too. I laughed at the absurdity of me thinking I could learn that position and do it the same day. This will probably take months or years of practice.
As Neale Donald Walsch has taught me, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Yes, I love being able to embrace being out of my comfort zone and feeling exhilarated vs. sad or ashamed. That is true personal growth. This healthier mindset is also the result of practicing years of dialectical thinking, self-compassion and radical acceptance.
Dialectical thinking upgrade: I can be skillful and a beginner at the same time. I can be excited and also humbled by yoga. I can be super flexible and able to do so much, yet I cannot do it all. Progress not Perfection!
Self-Compassion: I’m doing the best I can. Each day, with practice, I can improve and get better. Look how far you’ve come! Plan B is good enough. I am content with being a good enough yoga student!
Radical Acceptance: My current anatomy and musculature is what it is. I cannot force muscles and bones to move differently. I can’t change Ravi’s class outline, it is what it is. I will embrace the whole class and enjoy the postures that I can do, and make good modifications for those I cannot do.
BONUS! After the class, I was told by several yoga students that my laughter made them feel more accepting of their inability to do these harder positions and just create more meaningful modifications during that time. My laughter also helped them diffuse their discomfort or shame in not being able to do the Bird of Paradise…As it happens, I am a Certified Laughter Yoga instructor, so it was deeply validating and uplifting for me to share that practice during this yoga class. Learning to embrace the paradoxes and absurdities of your life – rather than be a victim of them — can be so relaxing and freeing.
This is part of my clinical practice as well, although I don’t formally set up therapeutic laughter sessions for individual work, it just happens organically in the moment. (Laughter Therapy programs and groups are planned ahead and are available upon request.)
For this week, see how you can participate in life by going out of your comfort zone in some way. Yes, living on that razor’s edge between fear and excitement is where the thrills of life will delight and amaze you, and give you a life worth living!
Eating dessert is one of the pleasures of life, yet I don’t want to hurt my body by eating inflammatory foods that weaken and compromise my precious instrument…so finding desserts that contain super nutrients is definitely part of my JOYFUL experience.
I did make this recipe over the past weekend, and it’s wonderful.
Modifications: I used almond milk (instead of oat milk), Stevia instead of Agave, skipped the salt, and I mashed it in a bowl. Came out superb! (I also made it a second time using a hand-held blender, and that works really well too, plus easy clean up.)
Voting super early in October…Here’s gratitude galore to artist Sam Durant (b. 1961 – ), for this powerful piece, Like, man, I’m tired of waiting, 2002. It’s currently on display at the Wadsworth Atheneum Museum in Hartford MA. (The Wadsworth is definitely worth a trip!)
So here is my Cultural Appropriation du jour…I hope Mr. Durant does not mind me borrowing his racial justice motif for these politically toxic times…Mea culpa, mea culpa, I just can’t resist.
I know that learning to live in ambiguity with any measure of peace — even joy — is a clear marker for how healthy I am inside.
To improve your mental state, I ask you to find ways to feel more useful. To that end, I think it’s ALWAYS more effective to replace the WHY questions with the HOW questions. Let me unpack this a bit…
When you ask WHY IS THIS HAPPENING, you never get a satisfying or truly acceptable answer. Plus, no one really knows exactly WHY harsh things happen. Oh yes, there are tons of theories, but ultimately, it’s never quite known for sure. There are too many complicated, multi-dimensional issues to pinpoint “The Reason Why” something – or someone – is in such a negative state.
That’s why I think that asking the HOW questions is going to give you a big payoff. For example, asking “How can I be helpful? How can I be useful? How can I make this better?” in your micro world, at home, work, school, will shift you into taking positive actions. Then you will start to feel as if you are part of the solution, as elusive as it may seem to be at times.
Plus asking “How can I help?” takes the focus off of you…dare I say it? So much mental anguish comes from the Pity Party we have for ourselves. Moreover, too much self absorption leads to the impulse issues being activated, such as drinking, drugging, food binges, shopping, gambling, porn and so on. As I’ve heard it said, “Poor me, poor me, POUR ME A DRINK!”
In sum, compared to sitting and watching the news on your digitals, having a depressing Pity Party, marinating in fear and anxiety, asking the HOW questions is surely a better path.
Here is the beautiful and amazing 5D Flow…Peace in your heart can bring peace to the world. Yes, as you feel more peaceful and useful, you radiate that energy out and it definitely has a ripple effect.
As it is written:
Peace in my heart brings peace to the family. Peace in the family brings peace to the community. Peace in the community brings peace to the nation. Peace in the nation brings peace to the world. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me. ~ Author Unknown ~
Best of all, when you ask HOW questions, you are no longer feeling like a victim! When you ask “Why is this happening [to me]? ” “Why don’t they just blah blah blah?” You feel powerless, impotent, ineffective and probably a tad depressed or anxious.
Ideally, with good inner work. you could become bulletproof to the news. At your best, you want to feel all the feelings in the grief-rage-sadness spectrum, and then move on quickly to what you love. Why? Because as I have learned from many teachers, what you focus on INCREASES…where your attention goes, your energy flows. If you focus on hate and all the haters, you will feel more hateful and angry. Simple, but not easy.
Finally, you’re probably tired of people reminding you to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, but truly, that is a big part of the solution here. Learning to ask How can I be useful, coupled with a daily — even HOURLY – gratitude list, could carry you a long way during these challenging cockalocka poo poo slinging times.
❤Here’s to learning to live in the WAITING ROOMS of life with more peace and joy❤
The Lighter Side of Transformation 