I attended my first No Kings Rally in Nashua, NH this past weekend, 10/18/25.
I went way out of my comfort zone to be there.
My concerns: 1. The noise, people screaming. Megaphones. I have high acuity hearing – “Dog Ears” – so loud sounds hurt. 2. The Covid Factor. 3. Heavy urban traffic, congestion, parking.
I’m grateful to report that this was a peaceful and not too noisy rally. Parking was easy. As of this writing, I’m Covid free. So all my fears were allayed.
I was most deeply affected listening to the WW II veterans. They drew astute parallels to the fascism of other countries and their WW II battle fatigue. They experienced so much loss and grief to fight for our freedom and democracy. And now, POOF! Our freedoms are eroding away daily.
There were also some beautiful art works created with such loving messages. These were my favorites:
I learned so much from being at the Rally. I realized that I need to step up once again and become more active with the resistance.
Before my sweet younger sister and husband got sick, I used to attend the INDIVISIBLE meetings in my town. Due to both the pandemic and my increasing caregiver burnout I chose to take a pause on my participation there.
Now that my sister and husband are resting in peace, I am 80% recovered from those chronic medical traumas. I believe I can be more useful and helpful again.
Another action tool that is part of the “Antidote for despair” is using the 5 Calls App. This is an excellent tool to be effective and also lower your blood pressure and cortisol levels quickly! I’ve shared about it before, Reduce anxiety: use the 5 Calls App
However you choose to express yourself, please remember, “There are no victims, only volunteers!” If you decide to do nothing, that is not nothing. Your tacit approval is built into doing “nothing.”
Gentle suggestion….take one tiny action per week to put forward your beliefs and reduce your anxiety. Action is the magic word!
DBT is evidence-based; over 80% of 10,000 participants showed significant improvement after practicing these skills (Linehan, 2016). Many, including Lady Gaga, have since benefited from DBT.
Lady Gaga credits DBT for helping her manage trauma, PTSD, and self-harm urges. She uses skills like Radical Acceptance and TIPP (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, Progressive Muscle Relaxation) to handle emotions and reduce symptoms. Her advocacy of DBT Skills training has highlighted the value of mental health care.
Hear how DBT transformed Lady Gaga’s life:
You can learn DBT skills too! This is not an exclusive training just for celebrities…
FEES: $100/week for 90-minute session, 14 weeks x $100 = $1400 – no insurance (except PPOs) (plus one Intake Session prior to group start)
What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and how can this program enhance your life?
One Year Program Includes:
1. DBT Core Mindfulness [focusing skills]
2. Distress Tolerance [crisis survival skills]
3. Emotion Regulation [de‐escalation skills]
4. Interpersonal Effectiveness [‘people skills’]
🌀🌀This trimester starting January 6 – April 7, 2026 – we are focusing on Mindfulness and Interpersonal Effectiveness skills.
Interpersonal Effectiveness helps you communicate better, set boundaries, validate yourself and others, confidently ask for what you need, seek support, and end unhealthy relationships. Each class covers DBT skills, practice, role play, and guided meditation.
The full scope of Interpersonal Effectiveness focuses on improving communication, reducing social anxiety, learning to set healthy boundaries, learning to validate yourself and others, gaining confidence in asking for what you want, enrolling others to help you in your dreams and goals, and letting go of toxic relationships.
Below is an excerpt of one of my sessions for Interpersonal Effectiveness.
Learning to say Yes when you mean Yes, and No when you mean NO
It can very often be difficult to say no to people who make demands of us, and if we say no, we can get caught up in self-critical thoughts leading us to feel guilty. To avoid feeling guilty, we just keep on saying “yes” to every request.
Someone asks us to do something:
We can learn ways of saying “No” that don’t lead us to think self-critically or feel guilty (during the group session, we practice some role playing to say No more effectively).
For example, try these suggestions on like a loose garment and see if they fit:
I’m sorry but I really can’t take on anything else at the moment.
I’m quite busy right now. Perhaps another time.
I’d like to help you out, but I just don’t feel up to it at the moment.
Thank you for asking me. You’re a nice person, but I don’t want to go out with you.
I don’t need a new roof (double glazing, vacuum cleaner etc). I’m happy with what I have thank you.
If the person seems to have trouble accepting your “No,” then just keep repeating yourself. You can learn the art of polite persistence. You might have to add the word “No” to the beginning of those statements, perhaps with some emphasis on that word. For example:
No. I’m sorry but I really can’t at the moment.
Be wary of those self-critical thoughts afterwards. Practice challenging and/or dismissing them, by telling yourself:
I explained to them why I couldn’t do it.
It’s not my responsibility.
It would only end up upsetting me if I agreed to it – this is best for me. If I feel less tired and not resentful, then I might be a better position to help them out next time.
They’re just thoughts – I don’t need to pay them any attention (then put your focus of attention on something else).
The following dialectic affirmations about control and esteem can be helpful for finding that balance.
I cannot control some things but I am not helpless.
I cannot control other people but I am not helpless.
I am not responsible for those things I cannot control.
I accept those things in myself that I cannot change.
I can make positive choices for myself.
My strengths and abilities deserve my appreciation. Appreciate those abilities you have.
Create your own affirmations by completing the following sentences:
I am not powerless, I can ___________________________________________________
I have the right to refuse ___________________________________________________
I am not helpless, I can _____________________________________________________
I deserve to _________________________________________________________________
Remember, a wise person once said “Repetition is the mother of all skills…” so aim to repeat these phrases at least twice a day, with focused energy, enthusiasm and passion!
It takes one year to go through the full curriculum for the DBT Program. (Some students choose to stay on for more than more year, to deepen their practice.)
During the year, we cover these modules:
DBT Core Mindfulness [focusing skills]
Distress Tolerance [crisis survival skills]
Emotion Regulation [de‐escalation skills]
Interpersonal Effectiveness [‘people skills’]
During class, we explore the act of saying “No” and turn these into powerful “Moves” to help you build new neural networks in your brain. We combine neurology, physiology and cognitive restructuring to do this, and sometimes add music and dancing to ramp up our energy. This helps you develop a fresh new response more easily and will become your “new normal” response to people’s inappropriate or untimely requests.
Take charge of your social interactions and personal growth with a 14-week Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Training Group (DBT). Learn effective strategies from expert Lisa Wessan to build confidence, set boundaries, and communicate assertively.
You can develop skills to set healthy boundaries, communicate clearly, and become resilient to others’ disapproval. Learning effective ways to interact can reduce social anxiety and enhance your success and relationships. You’ll also discover useful strategies for making requests and easing into small talk, such as discussing work, weather, or the weekend. By focusing on skill-building rather than willpower, you can foster more fulfilling social interactions.
Developing interpersonal effectiveness skills also involves investing time, effort, and resources. Many individuals choose to develop these skills when they seek change in their behavioral patterns. Sometimes your inner dialogue says “I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! I need to do SOMETHING to turn this around!” Research suggests that focusing attention on skill development leads to improvement in those areas, including social skills.
Neale Donald Walsch once wrote, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Yes, becoming comfortable with discomfort takes time and practice. By learning neuroscience-based skills, you can improve your ability to build new neural networks and succeed in mastering interpersonal skills.
Solution-Focused Therapy
The next virtual DBT Skills Group focused on Interpersonal Effectiveness and Mindfulness will run from September 30 to December 30, 2025. The course is taught by Lisa Wessan, LICSW, CLYL, RM, who trained directly with DBT founder Dr. Marsha M. Linehan and has over a decade of group facilitation experience. This 14-week program features weekly 90-minute sessions at $80 per week, providing participants with hands-on practice in social skills within small groups of 6-10.
My colleague, Heath Hightower, Ph.D of Somerville, MA, invited me to join him on this exciting adventure in learning. We started percolating on ideas in the summer of 2024. It was an invigorating and joyful process to brainstorm ideas with Heath. We come from different backgrounds, have colorful geographical and spiritual contrast. This adds more flavor to the feast. Fast forward to 2025, where we have now recorded 18 episodes…
For each topic, such as ANXIETY, we have a Part I and Part 2. In Part 1, we review the terms and definitions of the issue. We do a brief literature review. Heath favors research studies and analytical journals. I go deep on clinical books for intense bibliotherapy. Together, we present an excellent overview and foundation of the topic.
In Part 2, we delve into solution focused practical skills. These skills are tactical and useful for moving into a gentle healing and recovery mode.
Skill Power vs. Will Power? Hands down, Skill Power wins every time! How do you recover from anxiety? How can you turn around toxic shame? How do you set healthy boundaries? Yes, Part 2 explores the “HOW TO” realm. This includes tools, tips, and techniques that Heath and I have found useful. (Together we have over 50 years of combined experience!)
To start your journey with Heath and I, please visit PROCESS RECORDINGS. May these discussions help you increase your capacity for success, abundance, love and more inner peace in your journey towards wholeness💙
Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amidst the storm…
Hi,
I’m excited to be teaching the next 14-week semester of Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills (DBT). This semester we will cover Distress Tolerance & Mindfulness Skills.
DBT skills significantly help to reduce the escalation of your inflammatory emotions. They also lessen the painful, polarized and perfectionist thinking that often cause your meltdowns. You will learn to find your peaceful “Middle Path” here.
There are many powerful skills included in this semester’s work. We hope you will create your own personal Distress Tolerance tool kit. Use the techniques that work the best for you.
Unfortunately, there is no “one size fits all” with these various techniques. You need to be a good scientist in the laboratory of your life and try them all out. To that end, DBT provides excellent handouts, worksheets and exercises to help you practice between sessions. You will eventually find the techniques that you love. These techniques will help you pause successfully. They will transform difficult moments into something better.
You might have someone in mind for this next DBT Group. If so, please have them contact me soon at my web site – www.lisawessan.com – and fill out the Contact Form. This private form helps them briefly tell me the best times to reach them. (It also guides them to check out their insurance for the Out of Network benefit.)
Please know, this is a NO-SPAM zone, and no one’s email is saved unless requested to do so.
14-week fee: $1120 for continuing students, $1420 for new students (includes one Intake session.)
It is an honor to serve your friends, family, patients or clients with this powerful, experiential, transformative curriculum.
Onward and Upward✨ Lisa Wessan
“If you can recognize and accept your pain without running away from it, you will discover that although pain is there, joy can also be there at the same time.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, No Mud, No Lotus
Lisa Wessan, LICSW, CLYL, RM Psychotherapist, Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Trainer (DBT), Podcaster, Author, Speaker www.lisawessan.com UP NEXT: DBT Distress Tolerance & Mindfulness Skills (Virtual, June 3 – September 2, 2025) 🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~ Viktor E. Frankl
I am delighted to announce that the next virtual 14-week Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills (DBT) Group will be meeting on Tuesday evenings, 7:30 – 9 PM EST, February 18 – May 20, 2025. We will be covering both the Mindfulness and Emotion Regulation modules. (This is an ongoing group that has open enrollment periods three times per year.)
[If you would like to receive a copy of the full 14-week curriculum, please request one HERE. (This is a NO-SPAM Zone, so your email will not be added to any list unless you request it.]
The Mindfulness material includes:
Learning how to be a good observer, describing your feelings, participating more fully in life
How to become non-judgmental of yourself and others
Staying in the present moment with more ease
Practicing being effective for the greater good of your family, workplace, community
Accessing Wise Mind (aka higher self, higher consciousness)
Understanding Reality Acceptance and detaching from negative or critical thoughts.
Shifting from Willfulness to Willingness
The Emotion Regulation module has four sections:
Understanding and Naming Emotions
Changing Emotional Responses
Reducing Vulnerability to Emotion Mind (your highly reactive and difficult emotions)
Managing Extremely Difficult Emotions
As DBT founder Dr. Marsha Linehan says, “It is difficult to manage your emotions when you do not understand how emotions work. Knowledge is power.”
GROUP ATMOSPHERE:My students are well mannered, high functioning and convivial. For those who occasionally tend to demand more attention, want to give inappropriate feedback and/or act out in any way, I do have a strong “Respectful Communication Policy” in place and several useful group rules which help to maintain a safe, harmonious and cohesive group atmosphere. All are welcome, but there is no allowance for rude or harsh behavior.
Group members will continue to process their unresolved traumas in their individual therapy, not in this group. This is a therapeutic psychoeducation program. (It is NOT group therapy.)
Hi, I’m excited to be continuing to teach the evidence-based Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Training (“DBT”) on Tuesdays nights, 7:30 – 9:00 PM EST, in the Zoom Classroom…
It takes one year to complete the full curriculum, but I divide the work into three trimesters.
January – April we study “Emotion Regulation,” May – August is “Distress Tolerance,” September – December is “Interpersonal Effectiveness.” We explore and review Mindfulness skills the first few weeks of each trimester.
UP NEXT: we are moving towards wholeness and more inner peace studying “Distress Tolerance.”
There are still a few spots still open for this Spring/Summer term. Learn more here:
All 90-minute groups are $75/Week (see FAQ on web site for PPO/insurance details).
Students pay in full prior to start of group. [New students need to complete their registration forms, intake sessions and fees no later than 5/17/24.]
My students are educated and well mannered, high functioning and convivial. For those who occasionally tend to demand more attention, want to give inappropriate feedback and/or act out in any way, I do have a strong “Respectful Communication Policy” in place and several useful group rules which help to maintain a safe, harmonious and cohesive group atmosphere. All are welcome, but there is no allowance for disruptive behavior.
Group members will continue to process their unresolved traumas in their individual therapy, not in this group. This is a therapeutic psychoeducation program. (It is NOT group therapy.)
I’m excited to announce that we are hastening slowly to transform the world from the inner to outer, one DBT student at a time…
Lisa Wessan, LICSW, DBT Skills Trainer
Up next: we will be exploring “Emotion Regulation and Mindfulness Skills” from January 23 – April 23, 2024 in the Zoom Classroom. (All registration forms, intake sessions and tuition fees must be completed by January 19, 2024).
Understanding Reality Acceptance and detaching from negative or critical thoughts.
As DBT founder Dr. Marsha Linehan says, “It is difficult to manage your emotions when you do not understand how emotions work. Knowledge is power.”
During this 14-week program:
You learn to cope better with social anxiety issues, negative thinking and stop falling into the Blame Game.
You learn to abstain from the Compare and Despair syndrome.
You practice “Face it, trace it and erase it” as you work the DBT Skills and grow stronger and wiser with effective emotional regulation and self-expression.
You learn to access “Wise Mind” and regain your center, remain calm. You learn to take a stand for your inner peace, and become bulletproof to bullies, others’ judgments and negative, invalidating remarks.
You learn to practice Radical Acceptance, as needed, and problem solve when possible. You are no longer living with victim consciousness.
If this DBT Skills training group sounds good to you, please get in touch with me to start your enrollment process. Just complete the Contact Form on my web site to begin (not to worry, this is a No-Spam Zone! Your email will not be added to any mailing lists unless you request it).
Up Next: Mindfulness & Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
During the Mindfulness module, you will learn how to become a more compassionate observer, be less judgmental, learn to stay focused and in the present moment, practice using the Emotion Wheel to identify all of your feelings and detach from the negative ones as needed, plus more.
In the Interpersonal Skills module, you will be exploring ways you can set healthier boundaries, ask for what you want, decline and say “NO” effectively, examine validating and invalidating relationships, and more.
FAST FACTS: 🌀 When: 14-week trimester, Tuesday evenings, 7:30 – 9:00 PM EST; September 19 – December 19, 2023 🌀 Where: On Zoom 🌀 Fees: Continuing students pay $1050; new students pay $1285 (includes one individual Intake Session).
The Lighter Side of Transformation 