The Lighter Side of Transformation

with Lisa Wessan, LICSW

Pandemic Retreat Tip 3 – Shifting from Victim to Victor with the 2-2-2 Method of Transformation

Instead of feeling trapped inside your home or apartment, what if you started to see this as a temporary retreat? Can you turn this victim consciousness into a victorious consciousness?  What if you are being called to live, move and have your being refined in an enclosed space for a few months to evolve to a new level of consciousness? 

This appears to be a global retreat.  We are all being called to stay home and go within, on many levels.  The only real choice we have on this Earth is HOW WE RESPOND OR REACT to stress and crises. Moment by moment…victim or victor?  With ease or anxiety? We choose, again and again.

Go inside

I’m not going to list or catalog all the ways you can go inside…because you are smart, and have been aware of mindfulness techniques, prayer, contemplation, meditation, relaxation techniques, Reiki, yoga and much more.  There are many paths up that mountain to deepen your awareness, increase your insight and have more inner peace.  I’m just here to remind you of what you already know.

“Lisa, I know nothing about going inside myself.  Where should I begin?”  When I hear this,  I often invite my DBT Skills Students to use my 2-2-2 Method of Transformation.

What is the 2-2-2 Method?  The broad brush here is you spend two minutes connecting within, two minutes reading something inspirational and two minutes writing.  You can do these in any order. To feel successful and build momentum,  set a timer for six minutes each day for your practice.  If you stay in the process for six minutes, you’re good, even if you don’t tap each category perfectly.  The idea is to set your intention and do the best you can. 

Meditation:  Spend approximately 2 minutes sitting quietly, doing some kind of paced breathing.  During this time, consciously  seek to access your inner Wise Mind, Higher Power, Ha Shem, Christ Consciousness, Allah, Great Spirit, Buddha Nature, any label will work that is meaningful to you.

Reading: Spend approximately  two minutes reading from a personal growth book, inspirational  literature, Scripture, angel cards, your DBT book or whatever devotional or uplifting material you have handy.  If you have no inspirational literature, this will be a fun shopping trip for you.  Ask around, especially if you know someone who you admire for their mental and spiritual wellness.  See what they are reading. Take a risk and read it too.

Writing:  Finally, do two minutes of writing (in your journal or DBT worksheet).  You can just write what you are observing in your mood.  My favorite format for basic brief journaling is to write a fear list, do a quick brain dump and just get it out of your head onto the page.  Then make a gratitude list (6-10 items or so). Then make a to do list. Then if there’s still time, freestyle and just let it rip. See what comes out of you.

The 2-2-2 Method gives you a structure – but it is flexible – again, you can do these tasks in any order.  If you do this daily practice, this will help you advance and make a big difference over time.

If the timer goes off and you want to do more, that’s fine. But the six minutes a day minimum will be great for building momentum here.

Gentle Note: If you’re too busy to invest six minutes/day on your personal evolution, you are too busy. Dial down your Netflix, YouTube, Videogame and other streaming activities.  You are worth it!  Just six minutes/day will compound over time and create amazing changes in you and give you a life worth living.

Also, do NOT try to do this perfectly!  Allow some wiggle room on the 2-2-2 precision. It’s not exact, although sometimes it can be.

The 2-2-2 Method will give you a satisfying structure to add to your day.  Truly, this is such a good time to start a 2-2-2 practice and build from it.  Over time, you will see this move to longer sessions, and will feel deeply nurtured and empowered by it.

In closing, I appreciate Lynn Ungar’s approach to this pandemic…

Lynn Unger poem PANDEMIC

Stay safe and well,

Onward and Upward, 

Lisa Wessan

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Thanksgiving Gratitude Quotes

There are a plethora of wonderful quotes and passages on the topic of gratitude.
I thought I’d share a few of mine, with some annotations, and let them continue to spread more good energy in the world!
* * *
“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously.  And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!”
~ Author Unknown

Ralph Waldo Emerson and this unknown author really grasped the enormity of the amount of goodness which lavishes us at all times.  We are typically not thinking about how well gravity keeps us on this Earth, without crushing us; how our bodies work with such precision and accuracy (most of the time); how the air we breathe and the food we eat sustain us.  From the micro to vast macro levels, we are swimming in an abundance of complexity and richness. To be in awe of the magnificence of this mosaic of life, and let that gratitude sustain you — regardless of the cash and prizes in your life — is a path to more inner peace.

In my Thursday night DBT Skills Group (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), we recently explored this poem by Pat Schneider (Schneider, 2005)  to gain insight into the mystery of the generosity and kindness of the Universe:

The Patience of Ordinary Things

It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea,
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,
How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes
Or toes. How soles of feet know
Where they’re supposed to be.
I’ve been thinking about the patience
Of ordinary things, how clothes
Wait respectfully in closets
And soap dries quietly in the dish,
And towels drink the wet
From the skin of the back.
And the lovely repetition of stairs.
And what is more generous than a window?

*  *  *

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

~ Frederick Keonig

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

~ Eckhart Tolle

“The quality of your life equals the ratio of appreciation to complaint.”
~ Alan Cohen

Complaining is draining. One of my teachers in NYC once said, “If you  would abstain from complaining for 30 days, it would transform your life.”  Yes, I took on that challenge and it was an amazing month. I learned that what I focus on increases.  When I focus on what’s good, it expands.  When I focus on lack, illness, anger, scarcity, exhaustion, it gets worse. In sum, the intense energy I expend on complaining can be flipped to be uses instead in the arena of creative solutions.  As it is written, “What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.”  (Matt. 15:11.)  Let your words be the seeds for a greater tomorrow, consider each word you speak a new seedling that will start to grow. You want to plant loving, smart, solution focused seeds.  They will turn into strong action plans, and help you manifest your dreams.

*  *  *

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
~William Arthur Ward

Some people have a difficult time expressing their feelings, even good ones. Feeling grateful and not saying anything about it is a sad loss of the beautiful and healing vibrational power of gratitude.  Just saying “Thank You” out loud has a profound shift on your inner chemical factory.  It has been proven in many studies how every thought becomes a chemical reaction in your body. (Emoto, 2004)

In the 12 Step world (Alcoholics Anonymous and all the related  recovery programs) , it is often said “Grateful people don’t pick up.”  The power of gratitude can help a resentful, angry addict focus on what’s working and good, and not feel the need to reach for the substance of choice for self medication, as in “Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink!” Having an “Attitude of Gratitude” is recovery code for focusing on what’s good, and to quit ruminating about what’s bad.

Making a gratitude list before bedtime is a classic and wonderful way to pre-pave the  way for a good night’s sleep. Gratitude calms the mind and reconnects to the Source Energy from which all our good comes to us. Here’s an example from one of my clients of one way to write your gratitude list:

“At night, I find written inventories helpful. I keep them brief and to the point, with three columns: plus, minus and gratitude.  In the first column, I list things I did well that day…In the second column, I list things I did not do well that day (binged on anger, lied or kept someone waiting).  In the final column, I list all the ways in which I am grateful.  I try to make this at least as long as my  other two columns!”
~ S. P., Massachusetts

Another way to amplify this positive energy is to send thank you notes. I love writing thank you notes in longhand on beautiful stationary because the energy  channeled from my hand gets directly transferred to the paper, and then the recipient can feel my gratitude even stronger than via text or email.

Writing thank you notes allows you to experience the deep gratitude and positive goodness a minimum of three times. First, there is the  immediate wave of gratitude in the moment of the experience. Second, when I write the thank you note  I re-experience the gratitude again.  Finally,  the third wave of gratitude comes back in a boomerang effect when the recipient calls, texts or emails me to thank me for my thank you note!  We often have a wonderful exchange, and the gratitude rises again.

In Conclusion

I invite you to experiment in the laboratory of your life…take on one or more of these practices to experience more gratitude in your life, feel better, and then create more positive results:

  • Say thank you more often.
  • See how it feels to write out your gratitudes each day.
  • Abstain from complaining for 30 days, and focus on your gratitude list instead.
  • Send out a few thank you notes to people whom have enriched your life, whether for a brief encounter or even for long term relationships.

thanksgiving2

Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2017. All rights reserved.
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Sources:

12 Step Recovery Programs – There are currently over 200 free programs worldwide. After the first three, Alcoholics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous and  Overeaters Anonymous, the evidence of a strong recovery rate was significant enough to apply the 12 Steps to many other addictions, including nicotine, cocaine, pills, hoarding/clutter, internet, videogames and more.  If you are struggling with an addiction, search for a 12 Step program that will help you.

Matthew 15:11, New International Version (NIV).

Emoto, M. (2004). Hidden Messages in Water. Hillsboro, OR: Beyond Words Publishing.

Schneider, P. (2005). The patience of ordinary things. In Another River: new and selected poems. Amherst MA: Amherst Artists and Writers Press.

 

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