The Lighter Side of Transformation

with Lisa Wessan, LICSW

What is the 4-week rolling enrollment period for Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills training?

Dr. Marsha Linehan, founder of the DBT psychoeducation curriculum, understood that some people might miss trimester deadlines to start at the beginning of each semester. In classic non-binary, non-dualistic DBT fashion, it’s possible to be both late and on time at the same moment—what does that really mean?

Three times a year, several weeks before and during the Mindfulness Module, new students can join the ongoing DBT group to start at beginning of the next cycle.

Here are a few of the main topics for the Mindfulness Module:

Good, better, best enrollment process?

Best is registering early, completing the intake session and forms in advance, and starting on Day 1.

Better is waiting until the last few weeks, the crunch time—and just managing to finish in time.

Good is joining after the class has begun, missing a week or two, but still getting involved. Continuing and then thriving thereafter. (When this happens, the new student pays a pro-rated fee for the group reflecting the missed sessions.)

If you or someone you know has been wanting to join this group but keeps missing the deadlines, there’s still a chance! The final cut-off for this semester is January 27. Once we finish the Mindfulness Module and begin the Interpersonal Effectiveness material, no new members will be able to join.

There are reasons behind all of this, and this is just the briefest summary! Ideally, all DBT students would register weeks before the class begins, making the experience much more relaxing for everyone involved.

If you or someone you know could benefit from this solution-focused, science-backed, and proven personal growth program, don’t wait to get started. My next Tuesday evening group meets from January 6 – April 7, 2026. You can learn more here: https://www.lisawessan.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy

Onward and Upward✨

Lisa Wessan

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“Action is the antidote to despair.” – Joan Baez

I attended my first No Kings Rally in Nashua, NH this past weekend, 10/18/25.

I went way out of my comfort zone to be there.

My concerns:
1. The noise, people screaming. Megaphones. I have high acuity hearing – “Dog Ears” – so loud sounds hurt. 2. The Covid Factor. 3. Heavy urban traffic, congestion, parking.

I’m grateful to report that this was a peaceful and not too noisy rally. Parking was easy. As of this writing, I’m Covid free. So all my fears were allayed.

I was most deeply affected listening to the WW II veterans. They drew astute parallels to the fascism of other countries and their WW II battle fatigue. They experienced so much loss and grief to fight for our freedom and democracy. And now, POOF! Our freedoms are eroding away daily.

There were also some beautiful art works created with such loving messages. These were my favorites:

I learned so much from being at the Rally. I realized that I need to step up once again and become more active with the resistance.

Before my sweet younger sister and husband got sick, I used to attend the INDIVISIBLE meetings in my town. Due to both the pandemic and my increasing caregiver burnout I chose to take a pause on my participation there.

Now that my sister and husband are resting in peace, I am 80% recovered from those chronic medical traumas. I believe I can be more useful and helpful again.

Another action tool that is part of the “Antidote for despair” is using the 5 Calls App. This is an excellent tool to be effective and also lower your blood pressure and cortisol levels quickly! I’ve shared about it before, Reduce anxiety: use the 5 Calls App

However you choose to express yourself, please remember, “There are no victims, only volunteers!” If you decide to do nothing, that is not nothing. Your tacit approval is built into doing “nothing.”

Gentle suggestion….take one tiny action per week to put forward your beliefs and reduce your anxiety. Action is the magic word!

Onward and Upward✨

Lisa Wessan

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Mastering Interpersonal Skills: The Art of Saying Yes and No Assertively

The full scope of Interpersonal Effectiveness focuses on improving communication, reducing social anxiety, learning to set healthy boundaries, learning to validate yourself and others, gaining confidence in asking for what you want, enrolling others to help you in your dreams and goals, and letting go of toxic relationships.

Below is an excerpt of one of my sessions for Interpersonal Effectiveness.  

Learning to say Yes when you mean Yes, and No when you mean NO

It can very often be difficult to say no to people who make demands of us, and if we say no, we can get caught up in self-critical thoughts leading us to feel guilty. To avoid feeling guilty, we just keep on saying “yes” to every request.

Someone asks us to do something: 

Say No diagram

We can learn ways of saying “No” that don’t lead us to think self-critically or feel guilty (during the group session, we practice some role playing to say No more effectively).

For example, try these suggestions on like a loose garment and see if they fit:

  • I’m sorry but I really can’t take on anything else at the moment.
  • I’m quite busy right now. Perhaps another time.
  • I’d like to help you out, but I just don’t feel up to it at the moment.
  • Thank you for asking me. You’re a nice person, but I don’t want to go out with you.
  • I don’t need a new roof (double glazing, vacuum cleaner etc). I’m happy with what I have thank you.

IMG_0393

  • If the person seems to have trouble accepting your “No,” then just keep repeating yourself.  You can learn the art of polite persistence. You might have to add the word “No” to the beginning of those statements, perhaps with some emphasis on that word. For example:
  • No. I’m sorry but I really can’t at the moment.

IMG_0394

Be wary of those self-critical thoughts afterwards. Practice challenging and/or dismissing them, by telling yourself:

  • I explained to them why I couldn’t do it.
  • It’s not my responsibility.
  • It would only end up upsetting me if I agreed to it – this is best for me. If I feel less tired and not resentful, then I might be a better position to help them out next time.

They’re just thoughts – I don’t need to pay them any attention (then put your focus of attention on something else).

The following dialectic affirmations about control and esteem can be helpful for finding that balance.

  • I cannot control some things but I am not helpless.
  • I cannot control other people but I am not helpless.
  • I am not responsible for those things I cannot control.
  • I accept those things in myself that I cannot change.
  • I can make positive choices for myself.
  • My strengths and abilities deserve my appreciation. Appreciate those abilities you have.

Create your own affirmations by completing the following sentences:

I am not powerless, I can ___________________________________________________

I have the right to refuse ___________________________________________________

I am not helpless, I can _____________________________________________________

I deserve to _________________________________________________________________

Remember, a wise person once said “Repetition is the mother of all skills…” so aim to repeat these phrases at least twice a day, with focused energy, enthusiasm and passion!

Onward and Upward✨

Lisa Wessan

___________________________________________________________________________________________
NOTES:

It takes one year to go through the full curriculum for the DBT Program.  (Some students choose to stay on for more than more year, to deepen their practice.)

During the year, we cover these modules:

  1. DBT Core Mindfulness [focusing skills]
  2. Distress Tolerance [crisis survival skills]
  3. Emotion Regulation [de‐escalation skills]
  4. Interpersonal Effectiveness [‘people skills’]

During class, we explore the act of saying “No” and turn these into powerful “Moves” to help you build new neural networks in your brain. We combine neurology, physiology and cognitive restructuring to do this, and sometimes add music and dancing to ramp up our energy. This helps you develop a fresh new response more easily and will become your “new normal”  response to people’s inappropriate or untimely requests.

** For more information, please visit www.lisawessan.com.

Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2025. All rights reserved.

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Wessan Playlist for DBT Interpersonal Skills Training

Music has been essential in my path to wellness, helping me process emotions with songs for milestones, change, grief, and loss.

Here is a selection of songs curated for our upcoming Interpersonal Skills Training. This music has been chosen to align with the themes of the training, which focuses on developing confidence, emotional awareness, and healthy boundary-setting. Participants will work on communicating clearly, saying yes or no as intended, and doing so without guilt or regret as part of the learning process.

Learning to improve your interpersonal skills, increase your emotional intelligence and reduce your anxiety is an exciting journey. May you find your path to more freedom, inner peace and joy!

I hope these songs help you get there💙

Lisa Wessan

www.mirthmaven.com

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Boost your interpersonal effectiveness in 14 weeks—DBT Skills Training begins 09/30/25

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a solution focused emotional intelligence curriculum that works!

For ten years, I have continued to be honored and delighted to work with my amazing DBT adult students (age 21+). We meet on Tuesday nights, 7:30 – 9 PM EST in the Zoom classroom.

Over the span of a year, you develop tactical and practical skills in Emotion Regulation, Distress Tolerance, Interpersonal Effectiveness, and Mindfulness.

FEE: New students pay $1420 for the first 14-week semester, which includes an individual intake session. The continuing students pay $1120.

GROUP SIZE:  Minimum 6, maximum 10.  

TOPIC: This semester you will study and practice Interpersonal Effectiveness & Mindfulness Skills.  

🌈🌈See  new DBT Flyer and learn more here:
 https://www.lisawessan.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy

DEADLINE:
All registration forms, Intake Sessions
and fees must be completed
by September 29, 2025.

DBT Calendar:

September 30;
October 7, 14, 21, 28;
November 4, 11, 18, 25;
December 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 2025

Please forward this message to those who would benefit from this healing and empowering training. 

With gratitude,
Onward and Upward✨

Lisa Wessan

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Just for Today, by Sybil F. Partridge

1.  Just for today I will be happy.  This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”  Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals.

2.  Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.  I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.

3.  Just for today I will take care of my body.  I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.

4.  Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind.  I will learn something useful.  I will not be a mental loafer.  I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

5.  Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways;  I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out.  I will do at least two things I don’t want to do as William James suggests, just for exercise.

6.  Just for today I will be agreeable.  I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.

7.  Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once.  I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

8.  Just for today I will have a program.  I will write down what I expect to do every hour.  I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.  It will eliminate two pests, hurry and indecision.

9.  Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax.  In this half hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.

10.  Just for today I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.

If we want to develop a mental attitude that will bring us peace and happiness, here is Rule #1:

Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.

Written by Sybil F. Partridge   1916 and printed in
How To Stop Worrying, And Start Living, by Dale Carnegie, 1951

LW: Whenever you set a new intention, or want to develop a positive new habit, or break an old negative habit, start something new, always remember, “Progress not Perfection.” Old ways are tough to change, but it will get done. Slowly, slowly, you can do it. You can do hard things…There is a solution…Never give up💙

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Mastering Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills (DBT): 14-Week Distress Tolerance and Mindfulness Skills Training, starts June 10, 2025, 7:30 – 9 PM EST (on Zoom)

Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amidst the storm…

Hi, 

I’m excited to be teaching the next 14-week semester of Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills (DBT).  This semester we will cover Distress Tolerance & Mindfulness Skills.

🌀 Click here for the current DBT FLYER.

DBT skills significantly help to reduce the escalation of your inflammatory emotions. They also lessen the painful, polarized and perfectionist thinking that often cause your meltdowns. You will learn to find your peaceful “Middle Path” here. 

There are many powerful skills included in this semester’s work. We hope you will create your own personal Distress Tolerance tool kit. Use the techniques that work the best for you.

Unfortunately, there is no “one size fits all” with these various techniques. You need to be a good scientist in the laboratory of your life and try them all out.  To that end, DBT provides excellent handouts, worksheets and exercises to help you practice between sessions. You will eventually find the techniques that you love. These techniques will help you pause successfully. They will transform difficult moments into something better.

You might have someone in mind for this next DBT Group. If so, please have them contact me soon at my web site – www.lisawessan.com – and fill out the Contact Form. This private form helps them briefly tell me the best times to reach them. (It also guides them to check out their insurance for the Out of Network benefit.)

Please know, this is a NO-SPAM zone, and no one’s email is saved unless requested to do so.

14-week fee: $1120 for continuing students, $1420 for new students (includes one Intake session.)  

It is an honor to serve your friends, family, patients or clients with this powerful, experiential, transformative curriculum.

Onward and Upward✨
Lisa Wessan

“If you can recognize and accept your pain
without running away from it,
you will discover that although pain is there,
joy can also be there at the same time.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh, No Mud, No Lotus

Lisa Wessan, LICSW, CLYL, RM
Psychotherapist, Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Trainer (DBT),
Podcaster, Author, Speaker
www.lisawessan.com
UP NEXT: DBT Distress Tolerance & Mindfulness Skills (Virtual, June 3 – September 2, 2025)
🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀✨🌀

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From Borderline to Balance: Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (DBT-PTSD)

Abstract: This article offers a perspective on the impact of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) in treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and trauma. The author shares valuable insights on renaming BPD to “Intense Trauma Syndrome” for reduced stigma and increased therapeutic support. The post effectively conveys the author’s experience with DBT and the positive outcomes observed with clients. The inclusion of Solution Focused Therapy and reframing cognitive beliefs adds depth to the content, enhancing its value. Overall, it provides a comprehensive view of the transformative nature of DBT in addressing trauma-related challenges.

When I first became interested in the Dialectical Behavior Therapy methods and curriculum (DBT), one of my mentors said, “Lisa, I strongly advise you NOT to get involved with this work. If you offer DBT Skills, you will attract the WORST clients!  They will all be severely agitating with Borderline, Bipolar or severe mood disorders, it will be a nightmare for you!”

I heard what she said, and I did respect her opinion, but there was something so powerfully intriguing about the evidence-based science behind DBT, and the fact that so many people were getting well from it – people who had been considered “treatment resistant” prior to their DBT exposure.

I do like a challenge, however, and I was not afraid of this high risk population. Something inside me told me to continue…against the advice of this mentor, and other practitioners I knew.

It is now twelve years since my first DBT training, and I’m still excited to be sharing the DBT curriculum with adults (21+) in my virtual Zoom classroom.  I have had the privilege of witnessing hundreds of my DBT clients, in both individual and group sessions, go through this cognitive re-structuring process, shed their false beliefs, deconstruct their traumas, grieve and move on to have healthy, happy, contented lives.

In the process, I have learned that approximately 70% of my clients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) suffer from severe co-occurring post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD),  related to traumas that occurred during childhood. These traumas were not processed or expressed at the time,  and they caused a corruption of the client’s personality, mental and social skills.

These unresolved traumas, when treated, often bring upon a rebirth process, and the client is no longer exhibiting the Borderline symptoms.  Therefore, I humbly submit that it would serve everyone if BPD could be renamed Intense Trauma Syndrome (ITS).

Here is why:

  1. The term Borderline is heavily stigmatized in my guild.  “Borderline” sounds as if someone is on the edge of a cliff about to jump, perhaps on the verge of…suicide? Murder? Something worse?  Witness my mentor’s advice above, plus, each week I receive calls from clients who tell me “No one will work with me because I am Borderline.”  This is frustrating and heartbreaking to me.  Why is this heavily traumatized group eschewed because of their condition? Where should they go?  How will they get well? If BPD were to be re-labeled as Intense Trauma Syndrome, I think they would be helped by more therapists!  But this requires more than a branding campaign…
  2. Borderline clients often exhibit highly dissociative symptomatology, chronic suicidality, and ongoing non-suicidal self-injury.  This is also a big turn-off to my guild.  Many of my colleagues will NOT work with suicidal clients.  Why?  Too much liability, too many collateral calls, too much danger. Moreover,  my clients feel as if they are tacitly shamed by the mental health profession for being Borderline.   Yet I have found that this population, when they are truly sick and tired of being sick and tired, pick up these DBT Skills and other therapeutic interventions, and start their healing process.  They will always agree to a Safety Plan and stick with it. They learn, grow, and become healthier and successful members of society.   They do recover!
  3. When I tell my Borderline clients they have Intense Trauma Syndrome, and request that they stop describing themselves as Borderline, they start to feel so much better about their emotional challenges.  Many Borderline clients have described severe shame and self-hate due to their diagnosis. They feel hopeless and bereft of a cure. Receiving the Borderline diagnosis can make them feel worse!
    ⭐Here’s the H.O.P.E.  for Borderline clients,  Hold On, Pain Ends.⭐

Solution Focused Therapy

My DBT Skills groups cover the entire curriculum in one year, divided into three 14-week trimesters. This training includes the strengthening of the commitment to overall wellness and psychoeducation, DBT skills training, skills-assisted exposure, with radical acceptance of the past trauma and its effects on their lives.

Four leaf DBT

Finally, you explore the practice of self-compassion – as you learn to Fail Forward – and make efforts to build a life worth living. When a client has graduated from their Intense Trauma Syndrome to the more normative anxiety, career, dating, relationship challenges they are on their way to be fulfilled and satisfied with their lives.

The Intense Trauma Syndrome causes people to become quite polarized in their thinking. They often see the world in black and white, all or nothing, right or wrong, good or evil terms.  There is not much wiggle room for the vast spectrum of imperfection that exists in all of us!  One of the earliest cognitive shifts we work on is the ability to hold OPPOSITE VIEWS in their minds without having a meltdown.

Common Dialectical Beliefs

I teach that it is perfectly all right to love someone, but also to hate them at times. It is fine to be in a room of friends or family, and yet feel very lonely.  It is not a serious problem to want to go out, and want to stay home in the same breath. It is possible to feel strong and vulnerable. 

Prior to learning DBT skills, these opposing thoughts would cause a lot of stress for them, and cause them to feel as if they were having a meltdown.  To help them decompress from their polarized inner self-hating dialogue, I have learned to reduce their stress by saying, “You can feel dual emotions, you are ok and safe with these conflicting thoughts…In fact, you are not having a breakdown, you are having a breakthrough!”  This often helps them to reframe the intensity of their emotions into a more helpful and practical view.

Borderline1

What they need to learn is to go within and ask, “What do I need now?”  or “How can I make this better?”  Instead of saying “What’s wrong with me? Why am I like this?   I hate this!  I feel crazy! I can’t take it, I want to die!” In individual therapy, we can also explore their different Parts (with Internal Family Systems Therapy/IFS)  and gain understanding of their Exiled parts (Anderson, F.,  Sweeney, M. Schwartz, R.  2017)

I teach my clients to stop asking WHY questions, but to ask HOW questions instead.  When we ask WHY, “Why am I like this?  Why don’t I enjoy parties?  Why am I so annoying to people? Why is this person ignoring me?  Why do people dislike me? “Why am I still single?” they are on a slippery slope into anxiety and depression and possible self-harm.

When they learn to ask HOW questions, they start to change, “How can I make this better?”  “How can I be useful?”  “How can I learn to stay calm when I am triggered?”  The HOW questions lead to discovery, growth, healing and empowerment.

In Conclusion

Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a powerful healing modality.  From my experience, those clients suffering with BPD are particularly helped by this cognitive restructuring process, since typical pharmacological and generic talk therapy interventions are not always helpful.  From my perspective, DBT serves as a newly installed behavioral software program. It is slowly downloaded into their minds through the completion of hundreds of handouts, worksheets, discussions, weekly practice and role playing.  In sum, the DBT behavioral software in their minds replaces their previously corrupted and faulty software that was hurting them.
Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2024. All rights reserved.

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How Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills help you learn to manage and cope better with difficult emotions, as “Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm” – S. A. Jefferson-Wright.

I’m excited to announce that we are hastening slowly to transform the world from the inner to outer, one DBT student at a time…

Lisa Wessan, LICSW, DBT Skills Trainer

Up next: we will be exploring “Emotion Regulation and Mindfulness Skills” from January 23 – April 23, 2024 in the Zoom Classroom.  (All registration forms, intake sessions and tuition fees must be completed by January 19, 2024).

Four leaf DBT

The Emotion Regulation module has four sections:

  • Understanding and Naming Emotions
  • Changing Emotional Responses
  • Reducing Vulnerability to “Emotion Mind”
  • Managing Extremely Difficult Emotions
DBT Mindfulness

The Mindfulness material includes:

  • Learning to be a good observer
  • Being non-judgmental
  • Staying in the present
  • Practicing being effective
  • Accessing “Wise Mind” (aka higher self, higher consciousness)
  • Understanding Reality Acceptance and detaching from negative or critical thoughts.

As DBT founder Dr. Marsha Linehan says, “It is difficult to manage your emotions when you do not understand how emotions work. Knowledge is power.”

During this 14-week program:

  • You learn to cope better with social anxiety issues, negative thinking and stop falling into the Blame Game.
  • You learn to abstain from the Compare and Despair syndrome.
  • You practice “Face it, trace it and erase it” as you work the DBT Skills and grow stronger and wiser with effective emotional regulation and self-expression.
  • You learn to access “Wise Mind” and regain your center, remain calm.  You learn to take a stand for your inner peace, and become bulletproof to bullies, others’ judgments and negative, invalidating remarks.
  • You learn to practice Radical Acceptance, as needed, and problem solve when possible. You are no longer living with victim consciousness.

If this DBT Skills training group sounds good to you, please get in touch with me to start your enrollment process. Just complete the Contact Form on my web site to begin (not to worry, this is a No-Spam Zone! Your email will not be added to any mailing lists unless you request it).

🌀 For exact dates, fees, insurance info, FAQs, DBT Flyer, videos and more details, please visit https://www.lisawessan.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy

Onward and Upward✨

Lisa Wessan

Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2024. All rights reserved.

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UP NEXT: Fall-Winter Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Group (DBT)

Up Next: Mindfulness & Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills

During the Mindfulness module, you will learn how to become a more compassionate observer, be less judgmental, learn to stay focused and in the present moment, practice using the Emotion Wheel to identify all of your feelings and detach from the negative ones as needed, plus more.

In the Interpersonal Skills module, you will be exploring ways you can set healthier boundaries, ask for what you want, decline and say “NO” effectively, examine validating and invalidating relationships, and more.

🌀CURRENT DBT FLYER: Mindfulness & Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills.

FAST FACTS:
🌀 When: 14-week trimester, Tuesday evenings, 7:30 – 9:00 PM EST; September 19 – December 19, 2023
🌀 Where: On Zoom
🌀 Fees: Continuing students pay $1050; new students pay $1285 (includes one individual Intake Session).

For details and FAQ please visit www.lisawessan.com

Onward and Upward🌀

Lisa Wessan

PS – All registration forms, fees and intake sessions must be completed by 9/15/23. If this DBT work speaks to you, contact me very soon.

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